Glei and I want to thank those of you who responded to our recent invitation to pose your most burning questions about trichotillomania. We really had an outpouring of interest in the opportunity. This current article is going to address a question from one of our readers we think a lot of you probably share.
Clairissa from Australia asked:
I live in Australia and sadly am too far away to use your services. What is a Number 1 strategy for solving my hair pulling issue?
Well, just to start with, we have good news for you, Clairissa. You see, if you wanted to, you actually could work with us, even all the way from Australia. That’s because we now do most of our work entirely remotely now – that is via Skype-based video-conferencing.
We’ve worked with people from all over the world now using Skype, and it’s been very effective for us, and of course, for our clients. So let us know if you decide that means maybe you can get started with us after all.
Now, with that out of the way, let’s get to the actual answer to your question, which was “What is a Number 1 strategy for solving my hair pulling issue?”
The Difference That Makes The Difference
Those who know Glei and I probably wouldn’t be surprised to hear what I’m going to say to you. And that is you have to make ENDING this problem a MUST for you.
What do I mean by that?
Well, a long time ago, I heard someone say, “We rarely get should’s, but we always get our MUSTS.”
You see, in life, there are a LOT of things we all know we probably “should” do – but usually don’t… like exercise, or studying more, or spending more time with our kids or our spouse, or going to church every week.
The problem is, most of us don’t get to those things very often.
We make a lot of excuses, we tell ourselves a lot of convincing stories about why we “couldn’t” do it – but the truth is, in cases like that, it’s just not important enough to us to see to it that we get it done.
Cases in Point
Now, if you don’t believe this, just take a moment think about all the things you actually probably can’t stand doing — but you still find a way to do it because to NOT do it would be so painful, it therefore becomes a MUST for you — and once that happens, you’ll do whatever it takes to make sure it gets done.
For example, do you really love brushing your teeth every day? My guess is, most people would say they don’t actually enjoy the process very much. Not that it hurts or anything – but it’s also not the most enjoyable way to spend your time.
Most people only break down and do it when at some point, they think they HAVE to do it, because if they didn’t, their breath would start to really stink.
Or maybe they haven’t brushed all day, and now their mouth is starting to feel and taste kinda gross. And in order to relieve that discomfort, they finally break down and brush their teeth.
Or maybe they’re leaving for work or a date or something, and they wouldn’t DARE show up with bad breath there. Why? Because of all the pain they think they’d have to endure if they did.
And of course, I don’t necessarily mean physical pain – but the pain of embarrassment – the fear of what other people would think of them if they showed up this way – makes it a MUST for them to brush their teeth before leaving the house.
And every single time, right?
The Tax Man Cometh
How about paying your taxes? Do really love doing that? Are you really excited, waiting with bated breath every spring until you can FINALLY sit down and prepare your income taxes?
How about writing that check to the government for hundreds or maybe thousands of dollars? Do you really love doing that? Or isn’t the truth that the very thought of it makes you grimace?
Yet, you STILL find a way to do it! Why? Because it’s a must for us. The thought of letters from the IRS, fines, even possibly jail time is just too disconcerting.
And because it’s a MUST, we find a way – no matter what it takes – to get it done.
So back to that question from Clairissa… “What’s the #1 strategy for solving your hair-pulling issue”?
The answer: MAKE IT A MUST.
Decide you’ve had enough of this junk once and for all. Decide you’ve had enough of the pain, embarrassment, humiliation this hair-pulling behavior has cost you, and you’ll go a long way to getting this thing handled a lot more easily than you would otherwise.
But That’s Not All, Folks…
Now, a bit of a caveat on this:
Making freedom from trichotillomania a must for you is as powerful as it is because once you find a means by which you can actually take control of the problem (in other words, a strategy, a new set of tools, maybe some mental reprogramming or reconditioning work) – actually MAKING the change will be so much easier.
It’ll handle a lot of the ambivalence you hear about sometimes; you know, part of you definitely wants to just completely eliminate this problem from your life as soon as possible. But on the other hand, there might be a bit of reticence to really dispensing completely with it because on some level, maybe you think it’s been doing something for you… like helping you concentrate, or helping you relieve stress, or something like that.
These are a part of something that Glei and I call the “Myths of Trichotillomania” – which is the idea that hair-pulling actually does ANYTHING positive for you.
The bottom line is, if you haven’t had the opportunity to work with somebody who can help you see the real truth about all this, then there might well be some degree of ambivalence about how much you really want to eliminate this behavior as an issue in your life once and for all.
So, Clairissa, that’s Step #1. Decide this hair-pulling thing really HAS to go. Decide it has absolutely no place in your life any longer. Decide you’ll do whatever is in your power to help yourself eliminate this behavior, and you’ll really have greased the path big-time toward true and lasting change from trichotillomania.
Thanks for asking!
Question: Where in your life have you decided certain changes were a “must” for you? And what changed when you finally decided that? Feel free to leave a question or comment below, or visit us at our FaceBook community page at http://www.FaceBook.com/TrichotillomaniaRelief.